Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was
better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly,
God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am
going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those
results, I will judge who does the better job.'
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than
hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly
flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the
power went off..
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word
known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power
went out!'
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files
from the past two hours of work..
Satan observed this and became irate.
'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come
he has all his work and I don't have any?'
God just shrugged and said,
JESUS SAVES
From:
Chinyelu Samuel-Johnson
Through:
Wunmi Akinbodunse
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
AMAZING!
This revelation happened life in Abuja church. A brother lost his dear mum early in February, due to this he was so depressed and down cast due to the bond between him and his dear mum. When he returned home after his mother’s burial as a result of his work and his wife pregnancy, he sent his wife to his mother-in-law. It was on Monday morning that he got the feelings that he is not feeling too good, so he called a brother to pray for him and on Tuesday he went to his place of work. When his colleagues saw his health condition they brought him home on Wednesday. when he got home he was so weak that he managed to get to the kitchen to get a cup of water to drink, on his way back from the kitchen, he slumped at the sitting room and hit his head on the glass centre table ,that was how the journey began.
“I found myself on my mother grave yard and noticed that the environment was very dark , I now saw a very bright light coming towards my direction with a sword, the brightness was so much that I had to lie low on the ground, behold it was an angel of God with a bible in His hand. he gave me the bible and we started heading towards my house, on getting home i saw a greater light coming out of my room behold it was so white and bright that I could not behold it, I heard a voice asking the angel that are we back? Yes master, he said. Then the voice said to me “mark did u know me” I said no. He said am Jesus Christ. He put His hand on His face then I was able to look at him he was so white and bright, He asked that did I know why I was lying on my mum’s grave yard I said no He said because u love that woman more than Me. I said Jesus I love u! He answered saying “the 30mins prayer you used to offer for the church every day are you still faithful to it?, it was then that I remembered that my wife had once challenged me that I did not use to pray as before since I arrived from my mother’s burial. He said mark get ready we are going on a very long journey. I checked my pocket it was only #2000 (naira) that was there I said the money I have here will not be enough since it was a long journey, but He answered “u don’t need this earthly money for this kind of journey. So He asked me to dress up, I now remembered it was only one of my T- shirt I ironed, as I was about putting it on He said that this type of clothe will not qualify you for the journey. I said master, this is the only cloth I ironed, and before I know it I was on a white cloth.
The journey started. As we were going, we got to a very big roundabout, so big that I have not seen its kind. The entire environment was dark then Jesus told the angel to take me through the right road. The road was so narrow and rough that I could hardly walk on it, the sides were lined with beautiful flowers, on the flowers were some white garments so many of them, some were new and some look very old, beside this clothes were: packers ,brooms, violins, violas, trumpets and a lot of musical instruments. I asked the angel leading me who the owners of the clothes were. Then Jesus answered that I was so wise to ask such a question. He said these are the clothes of ushers, and choir members that have left me because of little things, but if they come back I’ll have mercy on them. Behold I saw a very distinct garment, new and very white, I asked who the owner was, the angel said I will get to know later. On getting to the end of the narrow road there was a small river to cross, the angel crossed it, Jesus Christ also crossed the river, the river was such that even small children could cross it but I could not, but through the help of Jesus I was able to cross it. The river was so clean and clear, underneath it are precious stones. Jesus now picked something that looked like a handset and gave it to the angel to open it. The screen was so large, behold it was the earth. I saw my branch church, the same as it was on earth. Nothing changed! Right in the congregation we saw many of them chewing gum ceaselessly, Jesus said this is the department they belong to meaning that they were busy poking their nose into other people’s affairs and not concentrating on the Godly work to which they are called. I saw another set of people carrying food flask and looking at other people own to see what was inside, Jesus said that is their own department, they are people going to other places called miracle centers to look for miracles. The angel opened another place behold it was our headquarter church at Abuja . I saw my pastor, assistant pastor, his wife and the congregation standing in front of a big fire all of them are with a golden staff. Jesus said those that put there rod inside the fire and get it back are the people serving Him, He told me to read Prov 5:21. The pastor and his assistant put their own and got it back so also some others. Unfortunately, many put in theirs and never got it back because they got burnt, in some cases, is was the wife’s own that came back and some their husband rod, husbands’ were pleading for wives and some wives were pleading for their husband but Jesus said there is no begging here, its only in the world that people beg. The new white cloth belongs to a sister that just backslid because of late marriage; she just left the church to marry an unbeliever. The Journey continues. Then I saw a very wide road with beautiful flowers that I have never seen before despite the fact that I had been to several places on earth. The roads were shining, they were like mirror and I saw a big gate and hallelujah song was coming from within. I was so happy being on this road that I wanted to enter the gate, then Jesus said look! Behold it was my wife carrying a baby in her hand and my brother. Jesus said because of this people you have to go back. I said no he said their cry will be too much that I have to go back. Then the angel turned back and I followed. Jesus told the angel “leave this end time message with him”. Behold it was 5:00am on Friday morning. I opened my eyes and I saw the angel sitting beside my bed and he said I should go and bring my hymn book from which we sang hymn 20. He covered me with a white cloth and left. I picked my handset and called the brother that prayed for me on Wednesday that he should come that I have been back from work since Wednesday, when he came in, I was so weak, so he off my clothes and used hot water to mop my body, he said we will talk later when he comes back from his work place so he left. It was now I called my brother to come over, when he came in, he asked me what happened, as I was about talking, he asked me where I got the white cloth that was on my bed, he picked it and saw blood on it. When he opened it, guess what he saw “JESUS IS COMING SOON” this is THE END TIME MESSAGE the angel left with him
Jesus is coming soon and now is the time. He told the brother that truly the overseer is praying for 100% rapture but he could only see 5% that is ready but he added that if those that have dropped their garment come back, He will have mercy on them. The message was written with Jesus blood and handwriting.
Other bible passages made reference to are: Prov 5:21, l Corinthians 14:40,
Prov 6: 27-28, Daniel 12:13 and Prov 5:8. Send this message to all you care for
Source:E. O. Oniya
______________________________
Graduate Student Adjunct Researcher
Department of Archaeometry
Cultural and Educational Technology Institute / 'Athena' R.C.
Tsimiski 58
67100 Xanthi
GREECE
Tel. mobile:(+30) 69505 52573 (+30) 69505 52573(+30) 69505 52573 & office:(+30) 25410 78787 (+30) 25410 78787(+30)
25410 78787 ext. 125
Through: Adekunle Abiodun
“I found myself on my mother grave yard and noticed that the environment was very dark , I now saw a very bright light coming towards my direction with a sword, the brightness was so much that I had to lie low on the ground, behold it was an angel of God with a bible in His hand. he gave me the bible and we started heading towards my house, on getting home i saw a greater light coming out of my room behold it was so white and bright that I could not behold it, I heard a voice asking the angel that are we back? Yes master, he said. Then the voice said to me “mark did u know me” I said no. He said am Jesus Christ. He put His hand on His face then I was able to look at him he was so white and bright, He asked that did I know why I was lying on my mum’s grave yard I said no He said because u love that woman more than Me. I said Jesus I love u! He answered saying “the 30mins prayer you used to offer for the church every day are you still faithful to it?, it was then that I remembered that my wife had once challenged me that I did not use to pray as before since I arrived from my mother’s burial. He said mark get ready we are going on a very long journey. I checked my pocket it was only #2000 (naira) that was there I said the money I have here will not be enough since it was a long journey, but He answered “u don’t need this earthly money for this kind of journey. So He asked me to dress up, I now remembered it was only one of my T- shirt I ironed, as I was about putting it on He said that this type of clothe will not qualify you for the journey. I said master, this is the only cloth I ironed, and before I know it I was on a white cloth.
The journey started. As we were going, we got to a very big roundabout, so big that I have not seen its kind. The entire environment was dark then Jesus told the angel to take me through the right road. The road was so narrow and rough that I could hardly walk on it, the sides were lined with beautiful flowers, on the flowers were some white garments so many of them, some were new and some look very old, beside this clothes were: packers ,brooms, violins, violas, trumpets and a lot of musical instruments. I asked the angel leading me who the owners of the clothes were. Then Jesus answered that I was so wise to ask such a question. He said these are the clothes of ushers, and choir members that have left me because of little things, but if they come back I’ll have mercy on them. Behold I saw a very distinct garment, new and very white, I asked who the owner was, the angel said I will get to know later. On getting to the end of the narrow road there was a small river to cross, the angel crossed it, Jesus Christ also crossed the river, the river was such that even small children could cross it but I could not, but through the help of Jesus I was able to cross it. The river was so clean and clear, underneath it are precious stones. Jesus now picked something that looked like a handset and gave it to the angel to open it. The screen was so large, behold it was the earth. I saw my branch church, the same as it was on earth. Nothing changed! Right in the congregation we saw many of them chewing gum ceaselessly, Jesus said this is the department they belong to meaning that they were busy poking their nose into other people’s affairs and not concentrating on the Godly work to which they are called. I saw another set of people carrying food flask and looking at other people own to see what was inside, Jesus said that is their own department, they are people going to other places called miracle centers to look for miracles. The angel opened another place behold it was our headquarter church at Abuja . I saw my pastor, assistant pastor, his wife and the congregation standing in front of a big fire all of them are with a golden staff. Jesus said those that put there rod inside the fire and get it back are the people serving Him, He told me to read Prov 5:21. The pastor and his assistant put their own and got it back so also some others. Unfortunately, many put in theirs and never got it back because they got burnt, in some cases, is was the wife’s own that came back and some their husband rod, husbands’ were pleading for wives and some wives were pleading for their husband but Jesus said there is no begging here, its only in the world that people beg. The new white cloth belongs to a sister that just backslid because of late marriage; she just left the church to marry an unbeliever. The Journey continues. Then I saw a very wide road with beautiful flowers that I have never seen before despite the fact that I had been to several places on earth. The roads were shining, they were like mirror and I saw a big gate and hallelujah song was coming from within. I was so happy being on this road that I wanted to enter the gate, then Jesus said look! Behold it was my wife carrying a baby in her hand and my brother. Jesus said because of this people you have to go back. I said no he said their cry will be too much that I have to go back. Then the angel turned back and I followed. Jesus told the angel “leave this end time message with him”. Behold it was 5:00am on Friday morning. I opened my eyes and I saw the angel sitting beside my bed and he said I should go and bring my hymn book from which we sang hymn 20. He covered me with a white cloth and left. I picked my handset and called the brother that prayed for me on Wednesday that he should come that I have been back from work since Wednesday, when he came in, I was so weak, so he off my clothes and used hot water to mop my body, he said we will talk later when he comes back from his work place so he left. It was now I called my brother to come over, when he came in, he asked me what happened, as I was about talking, he asked me where I got the white cloth that was on my bed, he picked it and saw blood on it. When he opened it, guess what he saw “JESUS IS COMING SOON” this is THE END TIME MESSAGE the angel left with him
Jesus is coming soon and now is the time. He told the brother that truly the overseer is praying for 100% rapture but he could only see 5% that is ready but he added that if those that have dropped their garment come back, He will have mercy on them. The message was written with Jesus blood and handwriting.
Other bible passages made reference to are: Prov 5:21, l Corinthians 14:40,
Prov 6: 27-28, Daniel 12:13 and Prov 5:8. Send this message to all you care for
Source:E. O. Oniya
______________________________
Graduate Student Adjunct Researcher
Department of Archaeometry
Cultural and Educational Technology Institute / 'Athena' R.C.
Tsimiski 58
67100 Xanthi
GREECE
Tel. mobile:(+30) 69505 52573 (+30) 69505 52573(+30) 69505 52573 & office:(+30) 25410 78787 (+30) 25410 78787(+30)
25410 78787 ext. 125
Through: Adekunle Abiodun
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Rat Free Status
According to a newspaper report, a dead rat was found last week in northwest Calgary suspected to be someone's pet. The rat was found outdoor dead and frozen all winter. The Canadian officials intend carrying out door to door investigations to ensure that there no signs of more rats in the neighborhood.
Alberta does a very good job of maintaining a rat free status. It is absolutely illegal to have a rat in your possession in the province. The fine is grave. According to the report, Alberta has been without the menace of rats since 1950. 9ja,9ja,9ja...!
I pray for a period in my country, Nigeria, when we'll all agree to a pest free status and all cooperate to ensure that rats and other pests are evacuated from our neighbourhood.
Rats and cockroaches invade some homes in such a manner that it is no longer seen as caused by dirtiness but as a spiritual attack and so are made prayer points, a subject for prayer and fasting to have them totally removed.
Alberta does a very good job of maintaining a rat free status. It is absolutely illegal to have a rat in your possession in the province. The fine is grave. According to the report, Alberta has been without the menace of rats since 1950. 9ja,9ja,9ja...!
I pray for a period in my country, Nigeria, when we'll all agree to a pest free status and all cooperate to ensure that rats and other pests are evacuated from our neighbourhood.
Rats and cockroaches invade some homes in such a manner that it is no longer seen as caused by dirtiness but as a spiritual attack and so are made prayer points, a subject for prayer and fasting to have them totally removed.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.....
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
(culled from w_akinbodunse@yahoo.com)
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
(culled from w_akinbodunse@yahoo.com)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Historic Health Reform Bill
The health insurance reform legislation signed into law by President Obama on Tuesday 30 March 2010 was an historic event described as the first triumph of President Obama’s young presidency, a goal said to have eluded generations of democratic leaders in the United State of America.
The new law:
1. Bars insurance companies from discriminating based on pre‐existing conditions, health status, and gender.
2. Provides Americans with better coverage and the information they need to make informed decisions about their health insurance.
3. Creates health insurance exchanges – competitive marketplaces where individuals and small business can buy affordable health care coverage in a manner similar to that of big businesses today.
4. Offers premium tax credits and cost‐sharing assistance to low and middle income Americans, providing families and small businesses with the largest tax cut for health care in history.
5. Insures access to immediate relief for uninsured Americans with pre‐existing conditions on the brink of medical bankruptcy.
6. Creates a reinsurance program in support of employers who offer retirees age 55‐64 health coverage.
7. Invests substantially in Community Health Centers to expand access to health care in communities where it is needed most.
8. Empowers the Department of Health and Human Services and state insurance commissioners to conduct annual reviews of new plans demanding unjustified, egregious premium increases.
This historic legislation is meant to reduce deficit by $143 billion over the next ten years, with $1.2 trillion in additional deficit reduction in the following 10 years.
For more features of the Health Bill see: http://docs.house.gov/energycommerce/SUMMARY.pdf
The Republicans fear the law to be huge. Projections are that the 2,407 page law may lost $1trillion over the next decade to help over 30m additional Americans get health care coverage.
A USA Today/Gallup poll, conducted a day after the healthcare bill won support from the US House of Representatives, found that 49 per cent of Americans called its passage “a good thing”. Forty per cent disapproved.
A 23 year old American lady who was paying $411 a month for a private policy, a sum much more than her rent, is excited about the possibility of getting back on her parents' policy. Since, the age dependency in the health policy is up to 26 years of age.
While, a 51year old self-employed Oklahoma City man and his wife though can't afford insurance on an income that's usually below $30,000 a year, don't want the government's help. Thus did not welcome the reform. The man had rather take his chances and fend for himself. He believes, "If you can't provide for yourself, why should everyone else provide for you?"
I personally believe the law to be an awesome document, super dynamic, capable of adapting itself to future perceived changes in the economy.
Probably because United States of America is a capitalist country, a welfarist law as the Health Reform Bill was disapproved of, even by the class of people that it was meant to favour and reduce their cost of living.
I really pray for a period in my country when the average citizen is genuinely patriotic and when super dynamic laws that adequately cater for the future generation would be allowed to achieve desired results
The new law:
1. Bars insurance companies from discriminating based on pre‐existing conditions, health status, and gender.
2. Provides Americans with better coverage and the information they need to make informed decisions about their health insurance.
3. Creates health insurance exchanges – competitive marketplaces where individuals and small business can buy affordable health care coverage in a manner similar to that of big businesses today.
4. Offers premium tax credits and cost‐sharing assistance to low and middle income Americans, providing families and small businesses with the largest tax cut for health care in history.
5. Insures access to immediate relief for uninsured Americans with pre‐existing conditions on the brink of medical bankruptcy.
6. Creates a reinsurance program in support of employers who offer retirees age 55‐64 health coverage.
7. Invests substantially in Community Health Centers to expand access to health care in communities where it is needed most.
8. Empowers the Department of Health and Human Services and state insurance commissioners to conduct annual reviews of new plans demanding unjustified, egregious premium increases.
This historic legislation is meant to reduce deficit by $143 billion over the next ten years, with $1.2 trillion in additional deficit reduction in the following 10 years.
For more features of the Health Bill see: http://docs.house.gov/energycommerce/SUMMARY.pdf
The Republicans fear the law to be huge. Projections are that the 2,407 page law may lost $1trillion over the next decade to help over 30m additional Americans get health care coverage.
A USA Today/Gallup poll, conducted a day after the healthcare bill won support from the US House of Representatives, found that 49 per cent of Americans called its passage “a good thing”. Forty per cent disapproved.
A 23 year old American lady who was paying $411 a month for a private policy, a sum much more than her rent, is excited about the possibility of getting back on her parents' policy. Since, the age dependency in the health policy is up to 26 years of age.
While, a 51year old self-employed Oklahoma City man and his wife though can't afford insurance on an income that's usually below $30,000 a year, don't want the government's help. Thus did not welcome the reform. The man had rather take his chances and fend for himself. He believes, "If you can't provide for yourself, why should everyone else provide for you?"
I personally believe the law to be an awesome document, super dynamic, capable of adapting itself to future perceived changes in the economy.
Probably because United States of America is a capitalist country, a welfarist law as the Health Reform Bill was disapproved of, even by the class of people that it was meant to favour and reduce their cost of living.
I really pray for a period in my country when the average citizen is genuinely patriotic and when super dynamic laws that adequately cater for the future generation would be allowed to achieve desired results
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